Earlier this month, the family took a trip to Maine. I was really looking forward to eating some fresh lobster.
"My goal for this trip is to have a lobster roll every day," I told Sarah.
"That doesn't sound very vegetarian, Mom," Sarah answered.
"True," I said, "but I don't think the vegetarian police are going to come after me."
"Maybe they will," Sarah laughed.
I realized the source of my discomfort with the whole vegetarian thing. It is not asking other people to make adjustments for me or missing certain foods, it is the label! Who gets to decide what "vegetarian" means? Who gets to tell me what I can and cannot eat? And why do I need rules?
I care deeply about the environment and that is my motivation for giving up meat. Meat production requires an incredible amount of resources and I want to take even the tiniest steps that I can. I want to make sustainable choices when it comes to food. I need to do more research so I can make better decisions, but in the meantime I have to get rid of the guilt!
Lobster, thankfully, is very sustainable, and very delicious.
Editor's Note: I have been a bad blogger this summer. No excuses, just an apology. Rededicated to write more frequently!
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Friday, August 1, 2014
Happy Meal
Last weekend, I joined my mother on one of those senior outings - a whole bunch of the AARP crowd get on a coach bus to somewhere. This was a day trip to the Barnes Foundation in Philadelphia. We rode the bus, went to lunch, visited the museum and rode home on the bus. It was a great day.
This was my first experience with a fixed lunch since I stopped eating meat. I called the planning office ahead of time to ask about a vegetarian option. "No problem," she told me, "just tell the server when you get there." I don't know why I was nervous about it. I did not want to make a fuss and I hate drawing attention to myself. I just had to trust that it would be no problem.
And you know what? It was no problem. When the waitress came around for the drink orders, I asked her about it. "Oh yes, we have eggplant for you." It was an Italian restaurant. While everyone else had their chicken and pasta, my spaghetti was served with some delicious eggplant. My mother tasted the eggplant and said it was much better than her lunch. "Maybe I should go vegetarian with you," my mother said, "you get better food."
This was my first experience with a fixed lunch since I stopped eating meat. I called the planning office ahead of time to ask about a vegetarian option. "No problem," she told me, "just tell the server when you get there." I don't know why I was nervous about it. I did not want to make a fuss and I hate drawing attention to myself. I just had to trust that it would be no problem.
And you know what? It was no problem. When the waitress came around for the drink orders, I asked her about it. "Oh yes, we have eggplant for you." It was an Italian restaurant. While everyone else had their chicken and pasta, my spaghetti was served with some delicious eggplant. My mother tasted the eggplant and said it was much better than her lunch. "Maybe I should go vegetarian with you," my mother said, "you get better food."
Heart of the Matter
We got word earlier this week that one of our dearest friends is having double-bypass surgery today. This hit Matt especially hard since this was his college roommate. Matt keeps saying how unfair this is and how this is not suppose to happen to us; this happens to our parents. "And when was the last time you went to the doctor?" he asked me.
It is true. I have not been for a physical in at least two years; it may even be three. I am not afraid of doctors - I go every year to my gynecologist, I get my mammograms when I am suppose to, I even visit the dentist every six months. Why no physical? It all has to do with the scale.
I know what I weigh. I get on the scale at home so it is no big surprise when I get on the scale at the doctor's office and the number is higher than I want it to be. What I hate is the conversation. The doctor always tells me I need to lose 20 pounds. It does not seem to matter what I actually weigh - the advice is always lose 20 pounds. No advice on how to do that, no guidance on who could help. One doctor did offer me prescription diet pills, but the list of side effects was so scary I did not try them. Another doctor told me, "All you have to do is eat less and move more." Well if it was that simple, why is anyone overweight?
No doctor has spoken to me about good nutrition or healthy food choices. I could be downing diet soda and Twinkies all day, but as long as that scale says my weight matched up to some magic chart then everything would be fine. I don't want to have this pointless conversation with another doctor. I know I need to lose 20 pounds and if I could figure out a way that works for me to do that, I would have done it long ago.
Hippocrates said, "Let food be thy medicine, and medicine be thy food." Too bad he wasn't a little more specific.
It is true. I have not been for a physical in at least two years; it may even be three. I am not afraid of doctors - I go every year to my gynecologist, I get my mammograms when I am suppose to, I even visit the dentist every six months. Why no physical? It all has to do with the scale.
I know what I weigh. I get on the scale at home so it is no big surprise when I get on the scale at the doctor's office and the number is higher than I want it to be. What I hate is the conversation. The doctor always tells me I need to lose 20 pounds. It does not seem to matter what I actually weigh - the advice is always lose 20 pounds. No advice on how to do that, no guidance on who could help. One doctor did offer me prescription diet pills, but the list of side effects was so scary I did not try them. Another doctor told me, "All you have to do is eat less and move more." Well if it was that simple, why is anyone overweight?
No doctor has spoken to me about good nutrition or healthy food choices. I could be downing diet soda and Twinkies all day, but as long as that scale says my weight matched up to some magic chart then everything would be fine. I don't want to have this pointless conversation with another doctor. I know I need to lose 20 pounds and if I could figure out a way that works for me to do that, I would have done it long ago.
Hippocrates said, "Let food be thy medicine, and medicine be thy food." Too bad he wasn't a little more specific.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Same Time Next Year
Every summer, Sarah and I spend a day at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We started this several years ago with the idea that by the time she was grown, we would have seen everything there is to see at the museum. Only problem - every time we go, we end up at the same exhibits. We take pictures at the Temple of Dendur, visit Edgar Degas' statue "The Little Dancer of Fourteen Years," walk through the period rooms, tell the story of the scandalous "Madame X" by Sargent, make a quick stop in musical instruments before hitting the gift shop. We even have the same lunch - we share a soup, sandwich, fruit cup and soda at the American Wing Cafe.
We have a great day every year. We laugh a lot and thoroughly enjoy the art we are seeing. Maybe we even enjoy it more now because it is familiar. I know there are whole worlds we have not touched - we have never even walked through the art of Oceania and I don't know where to find the photography section - but that does not diminish our enjoyment of the experience.
What does this have to do with food? Everything.
Like most people, I stick to food I know. I tend to cook the same things over and over again. Even though I have stopped cooking meat, I have quickly replaced those dishes with others that I make a lot. I want to be more adventurous, and I know there must be so much more out there that I don't know about, but I like what I am doing right now. If I am enjoying what I am eating, does it matter that there could possibly be other things out there? Should the specter of possibilities diminish my joy of the familiar?
We have a great day every year. We laugh a lot and thoroughly enjoy the art we are seeing. Maybe we even enjoy it more now because it is familiar. I know there are whole worlds we have not touched - we have never even walked through the art of Oceania and I don't know where to find the photography section - but that does not diminish our enjoyment of the experience.
What does this have to do with food? Everything.
Like most people, I stick to food I know. I tend to cook the same things over and over again. Even though I have stopped cooking meat, I have quickly replaced those dishes with others that I make a lot. I want to be more adventurous, and I know there must be so much more out there that I don't know about, but I like what I am doing right now. If I am enjoying what I am eating, does it matter that there could possibly be other things out there? Should the specter of possibilities diminish my joy of the familiar?
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Onion Rings of Gold
When Matt and I lived in Boston, we frequented Kelly's Roast Beef, first at the stand in Revere Beach and then at the more traditional fast-food restaurant in Saugus. New York has its pizza, Chicago has its hot dogs, but Boston has the roast beef sandwich. I learned to love it like a local, with lots of barbeque sauce, and Kelly's was our favorite spot.
Last week, Matt and I attended a funeral in Boston. We left home at about 5:00 am to get there on time. By the time we had gone to the funeral home and mass and the cemetery, we were (to use that great English expression) knackered. We still had to drive home. We decided to skip the formal luncheon and pick something up on the road.
Kelly's has opened additional restaurants in recent years, and we were driving right by the store in Natick. After the stressful morning, Matt thought a roast beef would cheer him up. "Oh sorry," he said, "will you be able to find something to eat?" I appreciated the thought, but I too craved the familiar, even if I did not want to eat it.
Matt got his wonderful roast beef sandwich, I got some chowder and we shared a clam plate. The clam plate comes with onion rings, and it turns out I could have skipped all the other food. I don't even like onion rings, but these little circles of fried gold were exactly what I wanted that day. I don't think Matt had more than two of them. I just kept getting up for more little cups of ketchup.
Our lunch was quick; we were in and out in less than half an hour. But somehow that little trip into nostalgia was exactly what we needed. I may not have eaten the roast beef, but just smelling the familiar and sharing the plate with Matt like we did when we were first married made us both feel better. Not to mention those onion rings were fabulous.
Last week, Matt and I attended a funeral in Boston. We left home at about 5:00 am to get there on time. By the time we had gone to the funeral home and mass and the cemetery, we were (to use that great English expression) knackered. We still had to drive home. We decided to skip the formal luncheon and pick something up on the road.
Kelly's has opened additional restaurants in recent years, and we were driving right by the store in Natick. After the stressful morning, Matt thought a roast beef would cheer him up. "Oh sorry," he said, "will you be able to find something to eat?" I appreciated the thought, but I too craved the familiar, even if I did not want to eat it.
Matt got his wonderful roast beef sandwich, I got some chowder and we shared a clam plate. The clam plate comes with onion rings, and it turns out I could have skipped all the other food. I don't even like onion rings, but these little circles of fried gold were exactly what I wanted that day. I don't think Matt had more than two of them. I just kept getting up for more little cups of ketchup.
Our lunch was quick; we were in and out in less than half an hour. But somehow that little trip into nostalgia was exactly what we needed. I may not have eaten the roast beef, but just smelling the familiar and sharing the plate with Matt like we did when we were first married made us both feel better. Not to mention those onion rings were fabulous.
Monday, July 14, 2014
Loose Lips
I had two conversations last week worth mentioning, with the two most important women in my life.
I tried something new for dinner - grilled portobello mushrooms and red peppers on toasted pretzel rolls with melted cheddar cheese. It was a big hit hit. "I think you are really starting to get the hang of this vegetarian cooking thing," Sarah said. "You like it that much?" I asked. She nodded enthusiastically as she took another big bite.
A few days later, my parents stayed over to take care of Sarah because Matt and I had to run up to Boston for the day (more on that tomorrow). Mom and Sarah bought some groceries while she was here, included some pre-made food for dinner. My mom picked out a rotisserie chicken, which Sarah explained to her that I would not eat. I have explained my new diet to my mom, and I have eaten several meals with her over the past few months, but I guess it didn't sink in. Over a cup of tea later that night, Mom asked, "So what is this about you not eating meat?" "I've told you before I am not eating meat right now," I answered. "Why not?" she asked. "I am just more comfortable with it," I shrugged, hoping to avoid the whole conversation. "Is this some animal rights PETA thing?" with a bit of edge in her voice. "No," I said honestly, "it just seems right to me." End of conversation.
It is amazing what the people who are closest to us can do for our self-esteem. At least, if you are a person like me with very little self-esteem to begin with. When Sarah praised my cooking, I felt more accomplished, like my effort was recognized and rewarded. When Mom, who is in general a very gentle and supportive parent, challenged my choices, I felt threatened.
Food is such a personal and such a collective thing. It both binds us and divides us in ways I did not understand before.
Oh, and if you have never had a pretzel roll, go find one. That is definitely a food worth sharing.
I tried something new for dinner - grilled portobello mushrooms and red peppers on toasted pretzel rolls with melted cheddar cheese. It was a big hit hit. "I think you are really starting to get the hang of this vegetarian cooking thing," Sarah said. "You like it that much?" I asked. She nodded enthusiastically as she took another big bite.
A few days later, my parents stayed over to take care of Sarah because Matt and I had to run up to Boston for the day (more on that tomorrow). Mom and Sarah bought some groceries while she was here, included some pre-made food for dinner. My mom picked out a rotisserie chicken, which Sarah explained to her that I would not eat. I have explained my new diet to my mom, and I have eaten several meals with her over the past few months, but I guess it didn't sink in. Over a cup of tea later that night, Mom asked, "So what is this about you not eating meat?" "I've told you before I am not eating meat right now," I answered. "Why not?" she asked. "I am just more comfortable with it," I shrugged, hoping to avoid the whole conversation. "Is this some animal rights PETA thing?" with a bit of edge in her voice. "No," I said honestly, "it just seems right to me." End of conversation.
It is amazing what the people who are closest to us can do for our self-esteem. At least, if you are a person like me with very little self-esteem to begin with. When Sarah praised my cooking, I felt more accomplished, like my effort was recognized and rewarded. When Mom, who is in general a very gentle and supportive parent, challenged my choices, I felt threatened.
Food is such a personal and such a collective thing. It both binds us and divides us in ways I did not understand before.
Oh, and if you have never had a pretzel roll, go find one. That is definitely a food worth sharing.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Rooty-Tooty, Don't Want No Fruity
At this time of year, I am usually swimming in fruit. I don't mean like a human sangria (though that has some appeal). Here in the Northeast, we wait all year for July so we can enjoy berries and melons and stone fruit that actually have some flavor. In my refrigerator right now, I have blueberries, strawberries, watermelon and cherries. And I have no interest in eating any of it.
In summers past, I would want to start my day with yogurt topped with peaches and granola. I would love to have a big slice of watermelon as dessert for lunch. A perfect afternoon snack would be a bowl of strawberries with a bit of extra-fine sugar. This year, the fruit just sits there, staring at me, pleading with me just to try one bite.
All I want lately is savory and salty. I crave chips, not cookies, which for me is absolute heresy. I want a veggie omelet for breakfast and cheese for lunch. My favorite snack right now is toast with butter. Sure I want carbs, that is nothing new, but not anything sweet. I have not touched the containers of ice cream in my freezer for days. I am beginning to worry that I have been kidnapped by the pod people.
I don't know if the change in cravings has to do with not eating meat. Maybe it has to do with getting older. I am still craving hot dogs (salty and fatty!) and the amount of food I am eating is hardly ebbing. At least my family is not on a fruit strike so that whole watermelon I bought will not go to waste. I want to want a peach!
In summers past, I would want to start my day with yogurt topped with peaches and granola. I would love to have a big slice of watermelon as dessert for lunch. A perfect afternoon snack would be a bowl of strawberries with a bit of extra-fine sugar. This year, the fruit just sits there, staring at me, pleading with me just to try one bite.
All I want lately is savory and salty. I crave chips, not cookies, which for me is absolute heresy. I want a veggie omelet for breakfast and cheese for lunch. My favorite snack right now is toast with butter. Sure I want carbs, that is nothing new, but not anything sweet. I have not touched the containers of ice cream in my freezer for days. I am beginning to worry that I have been kidnapped by the pod people.
I don't know if the change in cravings has to do with not eating meat. Maybe it has to do with getting older. I am still craving hot dogs (salty and fatty!) and the amount of food I am eating is hardly ebbing. At least my family is not on a fruit strike so that whole watermelon I bought will not go to waste. I want to want a peach!
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