Loose Lips

I had two conversations last week worth mentioning, with the two most important women in my life.

I tried something new for dinner - grilled portobello mushrooms and red peppers on toasted pretzel rolls with melted cheddar cheese.  It was a big hit hit.  "I think you are really starting to get the hang of this vegetarian cooking thing," Sarah said.  "You like it that much?"  I asked.  She nodded enthusiastically as she took another big bite.

A few days later, my parents stayed over to take care of Sarah because Matt and I had to run up to Boston for the day (more on that tomorrow).  Mom and Sarah bought some groceries while she was here, included some pre-made food for dinner.  My mom picked out a rotisserie chicken, which Sarah explained to her that I would not eat.  I have explained my new diet to my mom, and I have eaten several meals with her over the past few months, but I guess it didn't sink in.  Over a cup of tea later that night, Mom asked, "So what is this about you not eating meat?"  "I've told you before I am not eating meat right now," I answered.  "Why not?" she asked.  "I am just more comfortable with it," I shrugged, hoping to avoid the whole conversation.  "Is this some animal rights PETA thing?" with a bit of edge in her voice.  "No," I said honestly, "it just seems right to me."  End of conversation.

It is amazing what the people who are closest to us can do for our self-esteem.  At least, if you are a person like me with very little self-esteem to begin with.  When Sarah praised my cooking, I felt more accomplished, like my effort was recognized and rewarded.  When Mom, who is in general a very gentle and supportive parent, challenged my choices, I felt threatened.

Food is such a personal and such a collective thing.  It both binds us and divides us in ways I did not understand before.

Oh, and if you have never had a pretzel roll, go find one.  That is definitely a food worth sharing.