I tried Mark Bittman's recipe for Now and Later Vegan Burgers. The recipe seemed simple enough - a bunch of vegetables mixed with some beans shaped into patties cooked in a skillet. We like sandwiches and if you add enough ketchup to anything it will work, right?
I should have known I was in trouble by the mess in the kitchen. The recipe required so many steps and bowls and tools. I chopped, shredded, drained, mixed and pureed. Sarah asked me if I was okay. Matt offered to help. I threw them out of the kitchen. After one too many clanging pans, even Lucy ran away, her fear overwhelming her desire for floor crumbs. Finally I had a patty to put in the pan that looked about as appetizing as mud. Oh well, it will be better once it is cooked, I reasoned.
How can you tell when a veggie burger is cooked? There is no guide, like slightly-pink-for-medium. When these were cooked, they looked like hockey pucks. They had a blackened, plastic like exterior. I buried them in their buns, topped them with lettuce, tomato and a more than healthy dose of ketchup, and presented them with a flourish.
That first bite - one I broke through the, ahem, crisp outer layer, I was met with ooze. It was not like the satisfying crunch of the candy coating of an M&M or the crackle as you break the sugar on a flan. No, this was like biting a piece of birthday cake and finding a hunk of candle wax in your mouth.
"Maybe it needs more ketchup," Sarah suggested.
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